Friday, February 03, 2006
I Love My Doggie
Babies. You know, the little pinks things with scrunchy faces. More on this later.
My wife, she doesn’t do too well with gross stuff. Once upon a time we went out to buy a lawnmower and bought home a puppy instead. Long story. But she absolutely had to have this puppy. She was going to take care of it real good. Feed it, love it, take it for walks, look after it and make sure he was adored. As I handed over the plastic to pay for the little bugger I thought “This’ll buy me at least another 18 months without kids.”
Of course, where there’s puppies there’s puke, poo and pee. Apparently the PMB is a wee bit squeamish where such things are concerned and doesn’t react too well. She is, in fact, the inventor of the sympathy hurl. Not many people know that.
Incidentally, I strongly recommend not buying a piece of land, going through the permitting process, spending six months and $150,000 of your hard earned dollars having a house built with lovely new carpet and all new furniture and then buying what is, basically, some kind of gastro-intestinal Tardis with a tail. It doesn’t matter how much you feed a puppy, whatever goes in seems to quadruple before coming out the other end.
So, poor old me got to clean up all the messes. “Oh I just can’t”, she says, “the smell, I’ll puke”. Smashing.
So what about the babies ? My wife is now officially gagging for sprogs and I have I nasty feeling I won’t be able to put it off much longer. But what about the green baby poo ? Well, apparently I have nothing to worry about. Apparently when we have a baby, she tells me, she’s going to take care of it real good. Feed it, love it, take it for walks…
# posted by SideshowPete : 9:20 pm
